When I first told a friend of mine that I was engaged, she said, “I think you’ve finally found what you’ve been searching for.” It took me back. She knew me very well. I had never realized that I was searching for something, especially that singular special thing. I smiled and thought, “Maybe you’re right. Things are going to get better now.”
She was right in some ways. Marriage was something I had been searching for, whether I realized it or not on a conscious level. And my life has gotten better since then. I’ve improved as a person with the help of my very patient husband. I’ve taken many steps forward in a lot of different ways. But marriage was not the “one thing” I needed.
So, she was also wrong in some ways. There isn’t one single thing that settles you in for life. You always end up wanting more. After marriage, you want a house, or a baby, etc. There’s nothing that you can have solely by itself and be content. And if we did find the one thing that makes everything perfect for us, it would be a curse. Because life is full of so much more. If we found the “one thing” and we wanted nothing more, we would stop seeing all the other wonderful things life has to offer. We would miss out.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not meaning that marriage is not fulfilling or good. It’s just one piece of the bigger picture. It’s one thing of many. Marriage has not magically turned my life into a picture-perfect image. It hasn’t solved all of my problems. It hasn’t provided me with a continual, eternal state of happiness. And no marriage will. As every married person will say, marriage is hard work. And if you work hard on it, it becomes a very special and very fulfilling part of life. And it can make you very happy. But it cannot singularly complete your life.
I’ve been married over three years now, and all I know is that I’ve taken a step in a better direction. I’m happier than I was before marriage. I hold more promise for my future. But I’m still searching. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop searching.
Life is a journey, not a destination, so nothing will stop us on the path and make us sigh with utter completeness. Life is just not that perfect. We’ve got to bring those good things with us as we continue along. We are blessed with many things, not just one. And I think that’s a better way even if we don’t get them all at the same time. That means no matter how great things become, we still have something to look forward to.
So, ultimately, my one thing is everything. And no one can have everything. So I’ll just keep searching to see how close I can get. And there’s nothing wrong with that as long as I remember to hold onto the good things I bring with me and to let go of the things that aren’t meant to be mine.
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